Broken Blonde
by savii92520
Summary: After a series of events in her recent life leading Lucy into a depression, she turns to self harm. Natsu finds her and the two have a heart to heart about the events. NatsuxLucy, Nalu, tw: self harm. Oneshot, maybe a two-shot if I get enough requests for one.


She didn't know when it started. The pain, what she did to _herself_. The last few months had been hard on the Heartfilia girl. Everything in Fairy Tail had been going well, but Master Makarov had been growing more and more ill, leaving the entire guild in a panic. Everyone seemed to either be wrecked by the fact and refusing to do nothing other than grieve for Fairy Tail's future, or keeping occupied with missions. The master himself had denied the rumors of his health, although everyone in the guild could see it weaning.

This was just one of the many things that were adding up on Lucy's plate. It was no secret that this girl wore her heart on her sleeve, that's part of what made Lucy _Lucy_. But, after the constant teasing from other Fairy Tail members or even members from her own team to "stop being dramatic" or "stop crying", Lucy decided it might be best for everyone if she toned down her expression of her emotions. And slowly, over the last few months, she had.

It wasn't immediate, for a while Lucy was still the expressive girl she always was, until eventually, she just wasn't. Of course she laughed and smiled with everyone, but when it came to more serious emotions, such as fear or sadness, or even anger, the girl had mastered a blank expression. The teasing had stopped, thankfully for the girl, and soon she started to be accepted as a stronger, a more reliable member of Fairy Tail. his of course, was only the beginning.

Lucy was loosing herself. After the unexpected death of her father only a mere moth ago, leaving her more shaken up than she'd ever admit, Lucy began to realize she wasn't just hiding her emotions, she didn't _have_ them anymore. Her father's death left her MIA from the guild for a few days, before Natsu's concern had gotten ahold of him and he'd found her in her apartment, still crying over the event. It took two more days of coaxing from the pink haired mage to get her to come out and join the other's back at Fairy she came to this realization, worry spread through her like a wildfire. She had to find a delicate balance of faking her emotions, while still maintaining her new personality as a more reserved member, a balance she struggled to achieve.

Being a stronger member of Fairy Tail seemed great at first, but suddenly Lucy had more responsibility than she was able to manage. Usually, her and her team would go on missions together, taking down the bandits or bad guys as a team. But recently, she'd been expected to go on more solo missions. This didn't bother her, she was happy she was being trusted like this, but it did bother her teammates, especially Natsu.

"Ah _come on_ Lucy! You can't seriously be going on another solo mission! You just came back from one a few days ago!" The pink haired mage exclaimed, walking over to find Lucy studying the call board.

"Rent's due next week Natsu, and I love you guys and all, but I can't afford to split a reward right now, not when their aren't many high-paying quests." The blonde answered simply, not taking a second glance at her teammate.

Bickering like this went on between the two for weeks. Lucy would come back from a solo mission and try to find another, Natsu usually being able to convince her to wait and go on one as a team.

Their team missions felt like old Fairy Tail. Erza doing most of the work while Natsu and Grey goofed off, coming in to help at the end. Lucy was there too, but she wasn't quite sure why she was needed anymore. IN her heart she knew that these guys would be better as a three person team, but she loved them too much to tell them that. She knew they'd get upset at her and refuse the fact. That was another reason Lucy had decided to go on so many more solo missions, she didn't feel like she weighed anybody down. Sure, most of the time she returned half beaten to death and nearly killed, but she had her money for rent, and that's what mattered to her.

Natsu noticed her hurting, sure he did. He noticed the bandages from the fights, but he wasn't observant enough. He had a reputation for being oblivious, which he maintained well. It was Grey who first noticed when something was really off with Lucy. He had always been the most observant out of the team.

Grey first noticed the bandages that nearly permanently stayed on her wrists. He noticed how she shied away from people's touch now. He noticed how she'd begin shaking if you brough up the bandages on her wrists.

He knew what was happening. But, so did Lucy.

She noticed him staring at the bandages, at his more concerned glances. So she retaliated. She remained completely closed off to Grey. She'd maintain friendly conversation, but would refuse to talk about her health when Grey brought it up. After multiple attempts at getting Lucy to fess up to hat he believed, he gave up. Lucy wasn't going to talk to him, fine.

But he knew someone she would talk to.

Natsu Dragneel was sitting alone with Happy when grey first approached him about the subject.

"Natsu."

"What do you want, Ice Pick?" The boy fired back, the smirk practically heard in his voice, baiting the other for a fight.

" _Not now._ This is about Lucy."

Whatever fire had been boiling inside the mage for a fight had dropped, his expression turning from a smirk to concerned immediately.

"What about her? Did she com back from that mission yet? Is she hurt?" The questions came out at rapid fire pace, the ice maker having to hold up his hand to stop the flow of words from Natsu.

"Just listen you dimwit. This is important."

After Grey had filled Natsu in on his suspicions about the blonde mage, Natsu stormed out of the guild. Grey didn't have a chance to stop him, it was late at night and by the time Grey had reached the door, Natsu was long gone, running to Lucy's small apartment.

Lucy Heartfilia was having a rough night. Earlier she'd been talking to Mira Jane about Master' health, and Mira had told her how much it was declining. The rest of the guild wasn't supposed to know, for fear it would send everyone into more of a panic. On top of all of that, she'd been getting multiple calls from people across the lands about her father. Lawyers asking about inheritance and other's deciding to send their condolences. It had only been a month since the incident, and the girl was not over it in the slightest. Seeing as it was the one month anniversary of such an occasion, the sheer amount of calls she was getting overwhelmed her, whether they were from family friends or not. After the first ten or so, her heart was already in enough pain, she declined to answer anymore. She didn't notice the three missed calls form her best friend, Natsu.

This was her first day back from a failed solo quest, leaving her even more so down in the dumps. She was weak and exhausted, thoroughly embarrassed and heart broken. Tears blurred her vision as she trudged the way up to her apartment. After a few minutes of fumbling with the keys she finally got the door open. She didn't notice that the light was on, or that the fridge was also cracked open. She didn't notice anything. She made it up to her room and threw her bag down, finally sobs matching her tears. She quickly made way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her as she finally exploded into the sobs she so desperately needed to get out.

She fumbled for the cabinet door, pulling out a small container she longed for. Razor blades sat in it, undisturbed yet a disturbing picture. Hastily, she pulled one out and began unwrapping the bandages across her left wrist when she heard a slam and jumped, squeezing the razor in her hand out of surprise, cutting the flesh by accident.

The door had slammed open, and a very surprised Natsu Dragneel was standing in the doorway, a look of shock and disbelief spread across his features.

Grey was right, Natsu didn't want to believe it, but Grey was right. The shaking blonde in front of him was harming _herself_ , and that was too much for Natsu to process.

When he heard what Grey had suspected, he was too furious to believe it. He told himself he was going to hide in Lucy's apartment until she got back, so he could prove Grey wrong when he confronted her about it, that was his plan.

"L-Lucy." He stuttered out the word, handing dropped from the door handle as he went to lean down in front of the trembling girl, his own tears threatening to blur his vision. The girl didn't move her head up, she knew who was there, she knew she was caught. She made small noises in protest, still gripping on to the blade tightly in her hand, increasing the wound. Natsu's jaw clenched. He _hated_ seeing her like this. To contain the wave of emotions threatening to overtake him, he took a deep breath, biting his lip to keep more tears from spilling. Carefully, he held on to Lucy's injured hand.

"Lucy - Lucy, listen to me... Let go of it, _please_... Lucy." He begged, voice soft as he tried to gently pry her fingers form around the tool. She protested again, squeezing harder. Natsu could feel her blood on his hands and his stomach turned form the sight. With more force, he finally go he hand open, taking out the small weapon of destruction and tossing it in the wastebasket. The girl in front of him was still trembling, sobs still racking her body. He felt himself shaking too, his heart to broken to do much of anything else. There was only on other time he saw her in this state, when her dad had died, and he came to check on her. The memory of that day was burned into his mind, he'd never forget what seeing Lucy so broken looked like, and it hurt him.

He glanced at the partially bandaged wrist and nearly threw up. The sight of criss-crossing scars from the top of her wrist to halfway down her fore arm made his heart stop. Lucy, _his_ Lucy had felt the need to do this... He couldn't handle it. Swallowing his own pain and fear for the girl, he gripped her wrist loosely, moving to place another arm around her waist, more words of protesting come for the blonde. Slowly, he coaxed her up to a standing position, her leaving heavily on the counter. He wasted no time in taking her hand and cleaning the wound to the bets of his ability, using the first aid kit that Lucy kept in her bathroom. He noticed the supplies in there were running extremely low, it was another thought that made his stomach turn. After a good ten minutes where the only sounds were of Lucy's protests and the water running, Natsu had successfully bandaged the wound, and Lucy's cries had faded until she was just sniffling.

So many things were cruising throughout Natsu's mind. He had so many questions for the girl in front of him, but he was too scared to know the answer. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Natsu spoke.

" _Why_?"

She flinched at his tone, so heartbroken, and it cracked in the middle of the question. She met his gaze for the first time that night, and saw tears streaming down his face. She took a shaky breath in, biting her tongue to keep from sobbing more.

"It doesn't matter Natsu."

He wasn't angry until she said that. He wasn't angry until he realized that Lucy truly thought that it didn't matter _why_ she was doing this to herself. His grip on her wrist tightened at he raised his voice.

"It doesn't matter?! _It doesn't matter?_ Of course it matters Lucy. _You_ matter. So if you think for one second that I'm going to give in to any more of your bullshit about this then you're so wrong. I care about you Lucy, a lot. And I can't just keep - letting this go on!" The dragon slayer said, near.y yelling by the time he was finished. Lucy flinched away from him, slightly tugging at his arm.

"Natsu - Stop, _please_." She cried out, the pain in her wrist increasing from his unknowing pressure.

"Stop _what_ Lucy? _Yelling? Caring?"_ He growled, regretting his word choice immediately.

"You're hurting me." She whimpered, tugging at the arm holding her wrist more.

With the sudden realization of his action, he dropped his grip, eyes widening for fear he'd really hurt the girl. Her arm came up to rub the throbbing area, looking at him with still watering eyes.

"Lucy, I'm sorry -" He paused. Reaching out for her again, stopping when she shied away from his touch. He left his hand fall back down to his side, feeling thoroughly defeated.

A few more moments of silence remained, Natsu still blocking the doorway and Lucy having no where else to go.

"Don't apologize. Please." She asked in a small voice, meeting his gaze again. She still held onto her wrist, shaking with fear of what Natsu would do next.

He swallowed, unsure of what to say to her. It was true, he was still angry at her, but he was also angry at _himself_.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me?" He pleaded, eyebrows knit together as he opened his arms toward the girl.

Lucy's lip began quivering again, taking a few steps forward before stepping into the embrace, his warm arms wrapping tight around her small body. "I-I d-din't want to b-burden or w-worry you." She admitted, words broken apart by her cries.

She whispered quietly to her, telling her to calm down and that it would be okay, rubbing small circles into her back. He himself had placed his chin on top of he head, letting his own tears spill down his face without regret.

"You are never, _ever_ a burden to us, okay? Especially to me. Lucy," He paused, taking a moment to pull Lucy away form his chest so she could look him in the eye. "You're my best friend... You could of told me... I could of helped." His voice cracked again. "Listen to me, I need you to make me a promise."

The blonde paused for a moment, before nodding.

"Promise me you'll come to me first. I don't care what time of night it is, when it i s, I never want to see you doing this again. Please, _please_ come talk to me first, see if I can help make things better... I can't loose you Lucy. It only takes once when you go too deep." He had to stop again, throat burning from his emotions. " - And I lose you forever. A-And I can't have that Lucy, you can't do that, okay? - You can't go, you can't leave... We're a family Luce."

"Natsu - I... I don't know, it's just so -"

" _Please_ Lucy, _please_ say you'll come to me first.."

"... Okay. I promise." She let out her last two words like a whisper, Natsu's composure crumbling at he pulled the girl back into his arms, body racked with his own cries.

Slowly they pulled away, and he lead her back into her bedroom. He gave her a moment to change, stepping out into the hallway. When he came back in Lucy was in a long sleeved shirt and some pajama shorts, Natsu still in his usual getup. Natsu had no plans on leaving her alone for the night, he was too scared on what the outcome would be. So instead he crawled into bed next to her, no words being spoken between the two about it. He hadn't realized how exhausted he was until his head hit the pillow. He fought to stay awake longer, to make sure Lucy was alright and fell asleep before him. Once the girl tucked away in his arm's had fallen asleep, he soon followed, landing in a dreamless sleep.

The next morning came faster than Lucy had hoped, she knew today Natsu would make her answer more questions, questions she didn't know if she had the heart to answer. She, of course, woke before him. Trying to slip out of bed was another story. His grip on her was tight, but enough enough so to be uncomfortable. However, she knew she couldn't break his grip unless she wanted to wake him up, which is the last thing she wanted to do right now. Finally, she managed to slide out of his grip, walking int the kitchen to make some tea for herself and Natsu, throwing together what Natsu hadn't eaten out of the fridge into a make-shift breakfast.

A few minutes later, Natsu came trudging into the room, bags heavy under his eyes and his usual happy persona seemingly gone. He padded over to where Lucy was in the kitchen, watching her carefully as she made them both an egg, and placed it on the table. No words were spoken at breakfast except for Natsu thanking her for the meal. After he inhaled his and she merely moved the food aroudn on her plate, the two still sat in silence across from each other.

Natsu was the first to break it.

"We need to talk."

"I know."

He sighed, not liking the space between them for such an intimate topic. He pulled his chair over towards hers, moving to hold her injured hand lightly in his.

"... How long Lucy?"

She felt her heart constrict at his question, taking a breath before answering.

"Since my dad died."

He figured that was the answer, but it didn't make him feel any better. His heart still dropped at hearing the truth.

"You never told me why."

This question took longer for Lucy to prepare to answer, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"A lot of reasons I guess. My dad, the guild, Master Makarov... There's just, a lot going on." She noted, sighing as she ended her sentence.

He took what she had to say into consideration, rubbing circles into the back of her palm before responding.

"I wish I could of been there for you."

It was her turn for her heart to constrict, squeezing his hand lightly.

"It's not your fault Natsu, okay? Please don't blame it on yourself... I should of told you, sooner. I-I'm going to get better... And then we're going to get better, as a team. Me and you." She replied, giving him the first smile he'd seen on her face in a while.

"Me and you." He repeated, giving her hand a squeeze back.

Somehow both of them knew, everything was going to be okay. Not back to normal, no, but okay.


End file.
